Editor’s Note: Trying a little humor with the real problems of today’s America…
To The Editor:
It’s hard to figure.

We’ve all seen thousands of all these people busting up store windows, because they want Social Justice, which I guess they keep in stores in Minneapolis. If they did that here, they could find social justice real fast. It’s what a rope is for.

But they were whooping and hollering like it was the Reverend Angus Ainsley’s Last Best Jesus Revival and Donut Social that comes every year to get Granny’s Social Security.

Anyway, the people busting store windows say that ruining stores will help black folks who live there. Well, maybe, but I figure nobody but a damn fool is going to bring back a store to get looted again.

So where’s the black folks going to buy stuff? Everybody that’s got money or the brains that god give a retard possum is going to go somewhere else to live. And then these low-brow dimwits want to get rid of the POLICE, so thieving rascals can look easier in stores for that social justice. It looks to me like they can’t tell the difference between social justice and a TV set.

I reckon about one Tennessee ridge-runner with a twelve gauge could cure the whole mess in just a few minutes or ten rounds, whichever ran out first, but try as I might, I can’t hardly figure out these city-dwellers.

Next I found this mush-headed sounding woman, or sort of woman, you can’t tell these days, with one of them double-barrel hyphenated names. I think it was Markita Looney-Biden or something. Anyway, she was squalling about Cultural Appropriation. I get nervous around big words like that, but Dr Bill Warner, who used to teach at TSU, explained it to me. It sounds better, he said, than appropriating a TV set out of somebody else’s store. Still, it makes as much sense as ball-bearings on a birthday cake.

But we got other news to chew on. I keep reading about this gal Rachel Tension and how she’s causing all kinds of bile along with Louis Farrakhan, Oprah, Obama and George Soros and all their friends from Black Lives Matter, the Nation of Islam, the New Black Panthers, LaRaza and the Muslim Brotherhood. Anyhow, she’s running on these days about how white people is criminals and brutes and they need to get in touch with what they’re feeling, that might mean their girlfriend or I don’t know what, but she don’t like them. White people, I mean. Well, I guess.

But I figure when she’s yammering into a microphone that probably Thomas Edison’s second cousin twice-removed or Moses or somebody invented, it’s that Cultural Appropriation again and she owes money. I mean, without that microphone she’d have to go back to smoke signals or tom-toms.

Anyway, them there Commie women are taking over everything, and most of them are crazy. Along with Rachel Tension and Oprah, we’ve got that Clinton woman that’s even older than Madeleine O’Hare and probably sleeps all day in some cave, hanging by her toes — and that Elizabeth Warren gal, who used to be a Injun but cured it with a shot of DNA.

And now we’ve got Joe Biden, who ain’t nothing but a breastless Hillary on days when he can remember who he is, and pretty much nothing at all the rest of the time. Which might be a good reason to avoid voting for him, like the plague. Most of Us here in Appalachia are pretty sick of the ninkinpoops who never seem to know who they are and are always messin’ things up for us … the last few decades just ain’t been real satisfactory.

Today’s Democratic Party Red Radical Commie Rats say that these times are “progressive,” which I think means “soft in the head,” and we can’t be heteronormative or chromapejorative and we have to be gender fluid. I saw it in the newspaper or I couldn’t spell it. I’m not too sure what kind of gender fluid they mean, but I know I don’t want to think about it. I guess it means we´ll have to watch Mike Tyson wearing a Tu-Tu on Dancing With the Stars, which is alright on a girl. But I worry about it on Mike, and maybe it worries him too.

~ Justin O Smith, Murfreesboro, TNB